lolpastafandomcom-20200214-history
Gillette: The Lost Video
I love Gillette, as much as any 13 year old girl, I may not be a fan of their razors but I love the video they produced, as it represented the dangers women face against masculinity, and how men can do better, it was so inspiring. But one day when I was on YouTube, I decided to watch that video again, I've watched it at least 300 times, like I said, it was that good. Anywhoozle, it came to the part where all the men were saying "boys will be boys" in a barbecue party with like 50 or so barbecues. This made me groan in disgust. "Wouldn't it be great if all men died?" I thought out loud. Then it hit me, why not make that a comment? So I went onto the comment section and wrote my 257th comment stating what I thought. About 1 minute, 27 seconds and 52 nanoseconds or somewhere in that general area later, I received a reply from the Gillette YouTube channel themselves, this was their response: "Dear Abigail, thank you for your support and your comment, it means a lot to us that we can inspire someone like you. I just hope that you would stay tuned for our next video." That was odd, how did they know my name? I don't recall giving them my name, but I brushed it off as a glitch and looked upon my bed side clock. 8:36pm! It was a school night so I needed to get some sleep, but I couldn't as I kept thinking of the response from Gillette; "stay tuned for our next video." This made me excited to see what they had planned, maybe another male bashing video. Well whatever it is, I'll be waiting patiently. The next day at school wasn't anything special, it was just a generic day where we learned nothing of value like maths, history and grammar. Ugh, I really hate English, my teacher always criticises my work saying, "it makes no sense" or "nobody would write like this." It was obvious that she never went onto Wattpad. It wasn't until lunch when things started to become weird, I was with my friends, Bella and Jasmine, we were talking about English and how unfair it was, that was when I changed the subject. "Hey, yesterday I got a reply from Gillette about how they're going to make a new video. Isn't that amazing?" That was when I noticed Bella crying. "Hey, Bella? What's wrong? You never cry in front of us." "I just can't believe that they would do that to him. Why did they do that to O... I can't say, just don't watch it." She said as she started to head out the lunch hall in tears. I turned to her. "Bella, I don't understand." "Just don't watch it. Okay." Then she dissappeared into the hall. "That was odd." Said Jasmine, "I guess the new Gillette video was really disappointing." But that didn't answer why she was crying, could it be because of... something else. Later that day, I got home and I decided to go onto YouTube to check my subscription box, and there it was, a new video made by Gillette. I was really happy... that was until I saw the title of the video; "New razor by Gillette." I was disappointed. "Looks like their appealing to masculinity again." I sighed, but I decided to click onto the video to check it out. As I clicked the video, the story magically changes tense from past to present. The video starts with a dark room, nothing is illuminated and I can't see anything. In the room, there is a light that shows an old man looking into the camera, I hiss at him. "He looks like a pervert. That misogynistic prick!" I exclaim. But then he walks up to the front so that he's more in focus. "Hello everyone, my name is James M. Kilts. I am the CEO of Gillette, and we are annoyed about the reception our short film got. You see... we at Gillette are moving forward with the times, and we can see that we don't need to sell razors for people with beards to survive. We recently got a comment from a wonderful young lady who stated a brilliant idea, and we will go from there. Introducing the SHAVING MASCULINITY RAZOR! A revolutionary razor to shave away that pesky masculinity. Let me show you." He walks towards a chair that shows someone tied onto it, there's a bag on his head, I hear a muffled cry that is presumably coming from the figure. James takes off the bad to reveal a straight white man, crying. "Please let me go! I... I want to leave. Please have mercy." The man begs, James starts laughing. "It's too late to beg for your life now. There is nothing you can do... except be the test subject for our new razor!" And with that, he starts to shave the man's skin with the razor, he screams as blood oozes from him. James laughs as he shaves harder and faster, causing the man's screams to go weaker and weaker. I should've been disgusted by this, but as the man was white I started laughing. I could see that James M. Kilts is starting to get annoyed, but he then forms an unnatural smile. "I can see that you're not taking us seriously... but let's change that with our next test subject." That's when he moves towards another chair where another person is tied up. He removes the bag revealing it to be the 44th president of the United States... Barack Obama! "No! Please don't do it! He did nothing wrong!!!" I plead to the monitor, however it did not respond as it was a computer screen. "We at Gillette respect diversity, if we didn’t test this on someone of a different race, then we would be racist. Won't we?" James takes out the razor and is going to shave Obama. But he didn't flinch, he just sits there waiting for his fate. "The people of the United States will not be intimidated by terrorists." He says as cool as ever. James laughs as he goes up to him and takes the razor to Obama's neck. "DO IT PUSSY!!! I BET YOU FUCKING WON'T!!!" But James did, he slits Obama's neck and shaves him to death in the most indescribable way because I'm lazy. I can look away or turn off the video but the plot requires it, so I keep watching. As James finishes shaving Obama to death, he turns to face the camera. "That's it, I hope you enjoyed this presentation. Thank you for your continuous support." He slits his throat and falls onto the floor. As the video ends, the tense changes but hopefully for the last time. I was shocked at what I saw, I couldn't believe what I witnessed. I tried to watch the video again but it was removed, it was then I heard a voice behind me, a voice that made the non-existing hair at the back of my neck stand up. "You've witnessed too much Abigail, you need to be dealt with. Turn around." I slowly turned around to see something on my bed, something so terrifying, so horrifying that it caused me to scream. Sitting on my bed... staring right at me... was...... a Gillette razor, with blood stains and hyper realistic eyes. Category:Trollpasta Category:Satire Category:Lost episudes Category:DIALOGUE! Category:Stupid is as the main character does Category:Hyper-realistic Category:Crappy ms paint drawings Category:Shok ending Category:Blatant Ripoffs